Do you journal? Regularly? Occasionally?
Recently for a leadership program, I had to interview people in my life about myself. One of the questions was “what should I continue that supports my best self?” Two of my interviewees commented that I should continue to journal.
I have journaled most of my life and all my adult life. I honestly didn’t think much of it for years. It just seemed like an easy way to get out what was inside of me, to vent my frustrations and sadness, to express my joy. I always found it easier to express myself on paper than I did in speaking. The first time I remember being intentional with my journaling was my first extended trip overseas, a study abroad program. I wanted to document the events of my experience. I included in that first journal pressed flowers I found or received, tickets from trips, and often postcards of the places I went. Anything flat that reminded me of an experience went into the journal. That journal was my prized possession – the thing I would save if I ever had to evacuate my house.
Since that time, I have filled dozens of journals. Documenting other travels, but also my day-to-day life, particularly life around relationships; those seemed to be the most emotionally charged events. I often wrote letters to my partner after arguments, it seemed the only way I could communicate impartially, with forethought and without letting my emotions take control. Sometimes I gave those letters, most of the time I didn’t. It was just my way of clarifying to myself.
Occasionally, for reasons sometimes unknown even to myself, I would go back and read my old journals. Stories of trips I’d taken and things I’d seen would again be fresh in my mind, to revisit all over again. The most interesting reads were my mindset in different relationships. Past “honeymoon” stages would often make me groan with my naivete. Past heartaches seemed obsessive. Recently I was re-reading entries from just six months ago, before my last boyfriend and I broke up. I’ve admittedly been a little heartbroken about the end of the relationship, and reading these entries was amazingly cathartic. To see, in my own words, disagreements we’d had and discussions we tried to grow with, and me telling myself that I didn’t think we’d ever last long term. I don’t lie to myself in my journals.
It wasn’t until I started doing self-inquiry work that I fully realized the benefit of journaling. Asking myself challenging questions, and answering them, honestly, with no bias and no worries about what others thought. Being honest with others started with being honest with myself. And with that honesty and that clarity, I started to improve my verbal communication. To actually sit down with others and tell them what I was thinking, and really listen to their response. It is still a work in progress, I still find myself wanting to edit to protect feelings, or afraid of sharing not-so-positive aspects of myself. But I would never have gotten to this point if I didn’t actively record my thoughts, my emotions, and my reactions. It is this review of my thought processes that has helped me grow.
Now as we enter a new year is an excellent time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). The New Year is a natural time of reflection: where we were, where we are, where we want to be. Harness that, tap into your creative side, and let the words flow. You never know what you’ll uncover about yourself.
Photo credit to Mikhail Pavstyuk @ Unsplash